This is me and my dad when I was pregnant with Max, my first son. My dad and I have the same sense of humor and love to make each other laugh. Just one of many traits that we share.
What can I say. My dad’s the man. He’s wise, he’s smart, he’s funny, he’s talented. He relates well with people, but more importantly, he can get through to people when sometimes know one else can. I have great admiration for him.
Mom & Dad with Max & Jake
However, our bond is much greater than that. He’s an intimate part of my life. He’s there for me in a very real way. Meaning, I can go over to his house anytime and spend two hours (or more) talking to him about anything and everything that’s on my mind. He’s helped me in so many ways, including my own marriage and raising my children. He’s helped me relate better to my husband, given me a male perspective that I otherwise might not understand. We communicate well and often. No, we don’t have heart to hearts every week, we don’t have to. I can read him like a book, and he can do the same with me. He loves the church and his brethren, and spends more time than anyone knows worrying and trying to help others. He’s blunt and to the point, but his candor is refreshing and people (usually) appreciate the straightforwardness of his speech. I would be a lot dumber than I already am without him. He’s taught me so much and I’m extremely thankful that my boys will grow up so close to their Papa. My dad is my rock, and he makes me better.
With his grandsons
Almost 4 years ago Cale became a dad for the first time. Then, 19 months later, he became a father for the second time. God has blessed us with two precious, healthy boys, and we couldn’t be happier.
For the first time…
For the second time…
I guess, just like anything else, you learn as you go. Just as I was learning to be a mother, Cale was learning to be a father. It was hard at times, and we both had to change, a lot. Having a child made us better. Cale is one of the most patient and trustworthy people I know. While having Max pushed us both to be better, and was sometimes trying and difficult, it has taught us so much.
When Jake came along and we were now balancing two children, things changed even more. It’s a whole different ball game with two kids versus just one, and we learned how to juggle. How to trade off, and Cale was amazing. He didn’t get the least bit stressed out. By then, he was an old pro. Cale isn’t like most guys, he’s great with babies, at least now that he’s a father.
When Jake was little and fussy in the evenings, Cale was the designated soother. He would walk around with Jake and keep him happy until bedtime. Now that the boys are older it is definitely easier. Just the logistics of having two young kids in diapers was sometimes hard, but I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
I don’t know what it’s like to be a dad (obviously), but I know they have a huge burden on their shoulders. Cale will likely be the most influential person in Max and Jake’s lives. He will be their example to look to when it comes to how to be a husband, a father, a provider, a man. He will help them to determine who they are, and they will likely share many of his qualities.
Even though Max is almost 4 and Jake is 2, they already are little people. They already have very distinct personalities and characteristics. Max is so much like his daddy. Cale is wonderful with him. He understands him in a way that no one else does, and he can get through to him like no one else can. Other men would be frustrated with a child like Max. I’ve seen other men get frustrated with Max, because they don’t relate. I’m glad that Cale does. Max is sensitive, non-social, and methodical like his daddy 🙂
Jake came along and turned our world upside down. He could not be more different than Max. It’s been amazing to watch Cale parent them differently. It’s necessary. You have to be stern and more forceful with Jake. One reprimanding word, and Max is easily touched and upset. Max might cry or sulk about getting in trouble for 10 minutes, Jake gets in trouble, cries for 20 seconds and is off getting himself into mischief again. Part of it is who they are though, it’s how God made them. Yes, we must still train them to be obedient, but we cannot be so stupid to think that “one size fits all” when it comes to parenting.
Cale has always led our family. We have gotten pretty good at taking over when we can tell the other one is frustrated. We all get frustrated, but neither of us want to get to our breaking point and completely lose it with our kids. We try to be fair, but I know we won’t be perfect parents. Unlike many people, Cale learns from his mistakes and if it doesn’t work, he won’t keep doing it. That’s huge. At least to me.
Sure, Cale is flawed, but he’s one of the hardest working men I know, and he’s a major perfectionist. He’s quirky, extremely intelligent, and he’s hilarious. Most people think he’s a wallflower, but if that’s what you know of him, you are missing out. He doesn’t trust just anyone and he’s a peacemaker/keeper for sure. But he stands firm in his convictions and beliefs, and with God at the center of our home, I trust that he will continue to work towards being the best father he can be.
Happy Father’s Day to my dad and my husband, I love you both immensely!