Jake has been showing signs that he is ready to be potty trained for the past month or so. Since I’ve been recovering from back surgery I have put it off. Well, last week my husband noticed Jake holding himself and then he told him that he peed in his diaper. After that we decided that it was time to bite the bullet. Potty training is inconvenient at first, time consuming, and can really test your patience. Once you begin though, there’s no turning back. I think it really confuses children otherwise.
Max was exactly two and a half when we potty trained him. It took about a week and he pretty much had it down. (this doesn’t include going through the night, that came a little later) Jake is two years and 4 months old and has been interested in the potty for quite some time. However, in the past few months he’s started telling us that he’s going, and I think that’s a crucial sign that parents need to look for. If your child can’t tell you they are going, or don’t know when they are going, then they just aren’t ready. He’s also learned how to pull down his pants by himself, which is another sign I think is important. To me, being completely potty trained means that your child will recognize when they need to go to the bathroom and then be able to go by themselves with little to no assistance from you. Yesterday, while I was doing some laundry, Jake came in the room with his underwear and short around his ankles and told me that he peed in the potty. This is huge to me because I didn’t have to ask him to go and he didn’t feel the need to tell me he needed to go, he simply just went. He does great pulling everything down by himself, but he still needs some help getting everything pulled back up all the way. Jake is very independent and I think a child’s personality will determine the way you potty train them.
One thing we did with both our boys was get out the little child size “potty” out when they were about 18 months old. We basically introduced them to it, explained what it was for and just left it in the bathroom. Every night before bath we would ask them if they wanted to sit on it and see if they could pee pee. We also explained that if they did pee pee in the potty they would get an M & M. When they did want to sit on the potty we would get a cup of warm water from the bath tub and pour it on them, I mean really, what child doesn’t pee the second they get in a warm bathtub? Well, it worked most of the time. When they did pee we would clap and praise them and make a really big deal about it and then they would run into the kitchen and get an M & M. (they also chose which color they wanted, which was a big deal to them) We did this every time we took a bath. Sometimes they would be able to pee and other times they wouldn’t. If they didn’t go we didn’t make a big deal out of it we just told them that we would try next time, that way there wasn’t a lot of pressure on them. More than anything, I think doing this “pre-potty training” activity helped them to learn what it feels like to go and helped them become more aware of their bodies.
There will never be a perfect time to start potty training, there are always going to be distractions. The main thing for us is that we try to stay home for about a week. We set a timer and take them to sit on the potty every 15 minutes. One thing I’ve learned is that babies and toddlers don’t know how to hold it, they will just produce a little dribble every 15-30 minutes. It’s a huge pain. As you continue with it they do stop going as often and they begin to stretch it out to producing a good amount every 30-45 minutes. The main thing is that children have to learn to recognize the signs that they need to go and be able to express that to you. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Many toddlers will tell you AFTER they’ve gone, but that’s not enough.
Just like discipline, consistency is very important in potty training. While “pull-ups” are a nice idea, they are pretty much a glorified diaper. When a child goes to the bathroom in a “pull-up” it’s not the same sensation as when they go in their underwear. With both of my boys I’ve gone straight to underwear when we’re at home. They are going to have accidents and it’s going to make a mess sometimes, but when they feel how gross it is to go in their underwear it should deter them from doing it. If a child goes to the bathroom in their “pull-up” it’s really no different from the way it feels when they go in their diaper, which is something they are used to. I don’t know if my mom told me or I read it somewhere, but if my boys have an accident in their underwear I always make them clean it up. I don’t just run and take their underwear off immediately. This afternoon Jake peed just a tiny bit in his underwear and then told me he need to go to the bathroom. He sat on the potty and continued to pee. So while he did pee in his underwear, he was able to stop himself, go sit on the potty, and then finish peeing. When he was done I made him take the underwear off and go put them in the washer. Since he didn’t pee that much there were no wet spots on the carpet or anything because he had been standing when it happened. However, when I was potty training Max I remember him having an accident in his underwear while he was standing on the tile floor in the laundry room. I made him take his wet underwear off and then I gave him a towel for him to clean the floor. This might sound mean, but I also make my kids wear their wet underwear a minute or so. I want them to feel how uncomfortable and yucky it is to walk around in wet underwear. They don’t like it and they don’t want to clean anything up either, it can be a good deterrent from having an accident.
Since we started the “pre potty training” we’ve always used M & Ms. They get one for number 1 and two for number 2. When we are out somewhere I use sugar free Ice Breakers mints as a reward. I think using a chart is also helpful. With Max we made a chart and he got to put a sticker every time he went. Every day he went with no accidents he got a big sticker. If he went 3 days in a row without an accident he got something special, a trip to McDonalds, a cheap toy or book. We haven’t started a chart with Jake yet but I probably will. I do think that “pull ups” are useful in some ways. I use them at nap time and bedtime, and for the first few weeks of potty training I use them for going out of the house. After those weeks though, we go straight to underwear, even if we are out somewhere. (I also make sure and pack extra clothes in case) I’ve been really surprised that the last 2 days Jake has been dry after nap, which to me is a good sign that his body is able to hold it. Once Max went several days in a row with a dry “pull up” I started putting him in underwear all the time except at night. When we take that step we are very careful about watching their liquid intake. We always go to the bathroom before leaving the house, then we go again when we get to our destination, and I’m careful about giving them anything to drink.
Potty training takes lots of preparation and patience on the parents’ part. You have to be super positive and be a little cheer leader. Parents also have to try not to get angry or sweat it when their child has accidents, this can be difficult and frustrating. If you think about though, this process is probably frustrating to the child too. They may master it in a day or they may not master it for months. I’ve found that letting my children be very involved in the process helps them to feel successful; they get to flush the toilet, they get to choose their underwear, and they get to reach in the jar and pick which M & M they want.
I’m happy that Jake will no longer be in diapers, but it’s kind of sad too. It’s a pretty big deal when a child is potty trained because it symbolizes that they are no longer a baby. I feel like my boys are growing up so fast, it’s hard for me to imagine never having to change another diaper. It’s going to be like getting a raise financially, but it’s also a reminder of how quickly time flies and how quickly our babies grow up. I’m not worrying about Jake having accidents, he’s really getting the hang of it and I’m proud of him. It’s a big accomplishment to go to the bathroom by yourself when you’re 2 years old =) I’m enjoying watching as Jake’s little face lights up when he goes to the bathroom in his potty. I’m enjoying the way he claps for himself and yells, “YAY!” I’m enjoying how cute he looks in his little Cookie Monster underwear as he runs to the kitchen to claim his reward. It cracks me up when he says, “Jake AWESOME!” to Cale after he’s had success. It’s precious that Max wants to be right there in the bathroom with Jake and how excited he is for him. Max cheers for him and tells him that he’s such a “big boy.” I’m so thankful that God has blessed me with these two precious boys, this is just one small step in the scheme of parenting, and it can be joyful just like anything else.
