So this post has been in my drafts for over 2 years. I read this book “The Truth About Chronic Pain” and so much of it resonated with me and helped me realize I am not alone in the way that I feel. Here are some quotes that really hit me.
“Sensing that they are alone, sensing that the rest of us tend to judge them unfairly or unkindly, pain patients crave validation nearly as keenly as they crave physical release. Some people are so frustrated by the way health care professionals and family and friends treat them that they actually crave a dire diagnosis rather than a nonspecific one. They’d rather be in grave trouble than be scorned or disbelieved.”
“The personality remains inside the person’s body as if locked in a small room, while the “intruder” takes over interactions with the world. That is exactly what pain is like. You are relegated to a back corner of your mind while some survival instinct takes over to keep you functioning day to day.” – Mary Vargas (28 year old attorney and chronic pain patient)
“Once you are in pain, your ability to cope with things, even things that should be simple, is lessened.” – Mary Vargas
“Everyone gets sick of hearing about how much you hurt, see? Nobody understands it, so they don’t want to listen to it. They think you’re making it up. They want you to see a psychiatrist. But this pain is real. It comes from rods in my back, from scar tissue from surgeries suffocating and pressing on nerves. It was so hard to sleep, to get out of bed in the morning, to work day to day and make a living and keep everybody happy.” – Hal E. Garner Jr (former Buffalo Bills NFL player and chronic pain patient)
Someone shared this with me a long time ago and it made sense to me. It’s how I live my life everyday. Walking a tightrope of trying not to overdo it but yet being productive and enjoying life and being active with my kids. I don’t want sympathy, I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I just want to be understood, but then again, doesn’t everybody?